Evolution (Or Something)
Honestly, it’s been way too long. But also honestly, life has been…challenging.
The very act of typing this right now instead of doing literally anything else is procrastination on my part. Which is funny, given that I’ve procrastinated on adding to this website for months. But I guess you can guess how bad it is that I’ve fled here for solace, instead of Tumblr or something.
Things have been busy, but I’m not going to talk about real life right now. I’d rather wax poetic about Gus Dapperton’s new album, Henge, which is slowly taking over my life. Also currently consuming me: the Red Valley podcast, which I devoured in under 24 hours. The two combined? Like a moody charcuterie. 10/10 recommend.
Anyways, this post is one part half-assed update and another part resolution. Because I should really be doing a better job at talking to the void (and maybe like, 2 people that come here) and I have decided that I will make myself commit to this space. It’s not that difficult for me to get into something once I set my mind to it. The problem is sustaining the energy and getting it started in the first place.
My resolution is to start an actual series of pieces about my writing process, especially since I just finished the first edit of a manuscript I’d taken a break from for a few months. I’d been trying to force myself to work on a new manuscript for something like 2 weeks, and when it just wouldn’t click, I gave in and returned to my obscurely titled Blue Monday story. I’d already edited almost a third of it, but I’d taken a break because I’d jumped into editing right after I wrote it.
Which, for reference: do not recommend.
Anyways, jumping back into Blue Monday was really fun, and I actually (gasp) kind of still like it. That’s rare for me when I return to old manuscripts, either because I never feel like I’ve done well enough or because time is the friend of gaslighting. Or something like that.
I’ve roped my brother into beta-ing (sort of). It’s been fun to see his comments, especially since our shared language of pop culture references and in-jokes makes them so specific. It’s really given me a burst of renewed motivation, which I’ll really have to thank him endlessly for. He’s always been something like my number one motivator. I value his feedback so much. And now he’s got a bit of time, I am filled with glee over every email letting me know he’s added a comment.
So! Renewed energy and a new coffee shop less than a minute from me means that I’m going to get my shit in gear and really work at this. Maybe I don’t get picked up by a huge publisher or on the New York Times Bestseller list (I’m too tired right now to look up proper capitalization for that so don’t come after me). Maybe my book isn’t even a sleeper hit. Maybe it just kinda skates by.
But the point is to get the thing done, and I’m really behind this one. I’m ready to work it until I can have it in my hands and feel that same emotion I did when I published Pretty Little Revenge, which was (spoiler) a quarantine-fueled love letter to my true crime and theatric horror fixation.
Right now, I’m feeling this love letter to 80s-flavored media and the pain of being an outsider in a small town. I’m feeling it and I’m working hard.
So stick around, and I’ll see you soon with more about everything I can’t type out after a full day of my ‘real’ job and a stomach full of orange chicken. It’s going to be a ride.
